Behind Closed Doors
by boundless23
Summary: Piper Chapman was enjoying her life in Ithaca until she started to go into a slow descent into depression. One night during a storm, a mysterious stranger knocks at her door only to send Piper's life spinning. As much as Piper would like to help this woman, they both need to deal with their own demons. Vauseman AU. M rated for future content with graphic scenes.
1. 1 Two Trains Passing in the Dark

A/N Just before I start, I would like to add that I'm not the most confident writer but am really passionate about these characters, the next chapters will be larger in size as this is just a small taste, I would really appreciate any reviews as well and I hope that you enjoy the story. A song I recommend for this chapter is A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke -boundless

 **All characters belong to Netflix, Jenji Kohan, and Piper Kerman**

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Chapter 1

Piper's POV

Piper almost always enjoyed the rain, it reminded her of summers in Maine and playing with her brothers when she was a child. But at this time, she would have preferred the warmth from the sun. Recently Piper had been struggling with darker-than-average thoughts and a bit of light would have helped her feel a little happier, yet here she was, in the darkness of her two-story home, alone. A blackout from the storm outside had led Piper to believe that she would be better off upstairs in her room with candles and a decent read.

Almost 4 hours had passed since the blackout and the power had not yet turned back on, Piper had fallen asleep and the candles had long since burned out. She was dreaming of simpler times when a knock at her door awoke her. Confused and a little scared about who would be at her home at this time in the middle of a storm, quickly trying to gain a sense of logic she assumed it was her best friend Polly, whom she had been ignoring as she slowly slipped into her depressed state. Piper grabbed a torch and went downstairs to open the door. As she faced the light towards the figure at her steps, a woman who was not Polly stared back at her. She was slightly taller than Piper by about 5cm, had long dark brown hair, horn-rimmed glasses and eyes the colour of new leaves in spring. Piper would have considered her beautiful if she wasn't terrified that a stranger was knocking at her door in the middle of a storm. Piper went to close the door.

"Wait, I need your help, please"

Piper was taken aback by the rugged voice of the woman.

"Please, may I come inside?"

Realising she had yet to say anything, Piper gestured the woman into her house with the logic _"who would come to kill me in the middle of a storm in Ithaca?"._ Piper turned to the right to show the woman to her lounge and she collapsed onto the couch. "Would you like anything warm to drink? It's quite cold outside and you're drenched."

The woman nodded and Piper went to go and fix them some tea.

As she returned with the drinks, the woman on her couch had lost some colour to her already pale face but seemed to perk up a bit more as Piper entered the room. Piper gave the woman her drink and asked her why she was here.

"I got into car troubles and your house was the only one nearby"

"I don't understand how you would have seen at all as it is pitch black out there"

The woman nodded her head upwards to Piper's second floor "I saw a light coming from a window upstairs and made my way towards it"

Piper thought about this and was unconvinced by the woman's story so far "The only lights I had in that room burned out over two hours ago"

The woman gave a low chuckle and says that her car had broken down a few miles back. Piper just nodded, not wanting to question her anymore, the woman looked exhausted. As Piper went to take their cups away, the woman attempted to sit up but winced from the effort, this did not go unnoticed to Piper and wondered about the real reason this mysterious woman was in her home. "Are you hurt?", she shook her head but Piper noticed that she was favouring her left side to her right. Piper offered her a towel and told her that she could take a shower in the downstairs bathroom and that she would come back downstairs with some dryer clothes. The woman thanked her and went into the bathroom to wash under some warm water.

Piper knocked on the outside of the bathroom door and switched the woman's wet clothes for her dry ones. As Piper went to go and put them into the washer she noticed a liquid drip through her hands from the clothes. It was not rainwater. It was blood.


	2. 2 A Couch to Crash on

A/N here is the second chapter, I really hope you like it :) A song I recommend for this chapter is Keep On by Portugal. The Man -boundless  
p.s This chapter has been edited and re-uploaded

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Chapter 2

 _Piper knocked on the outside of the bathroom door and switched the woman's wet clothes for her dry ones. As Piper went to go and put them into the washer she noticed a liquid drip through her hands from the clothes. It was not rainwater. It was blood._

 **Piper's POV**

Piper chucked the clothes into the sink in her laundry and washed the blood off of her hands and the clothes. Panicking, Piper rushed out into the lounge where the woman sat, her face had paled to the point that she resembled the snow in a cold winter. Piper carefully placed her hand under the woman's right ribs were a dark wet patch had started to form on the shirt that Piper had given her. The woman hissed and tried to swat her hand away, sweat started to bead down the brunette's face and that was when Piper knew she must be in a large deal of pain. "I'm going to roll this shirt up a bit to see what's wrong", the woman grunted but didn't stop Piper from lifting the bottom up. As the wound was in clear sight Piper could see just how bad it was, there was a deep gash down her right side that started under her rib and continued for about 10cm, Piper pressed on the wound so as to stop some of the bleedings. As she did she looked down and noticed that the brunette's right leg was also making a stain on her pants. Piper hesitantly rolled her pants leg up to see a harsh graze down the front of her shin. She looked up at the woman who had her head facing the ceiling and eyes closed in pain. "I'm going to go and get some bandages, don't move". The woman just made a small nod of her head and Piper scurried to the bathroom.

Piper wondered what she had gotten herself into as she pulled out some pads and bandages from the bathroom " _I mean sure, my life has been one downhill spiral for a while now but I could handle it, I hope that she isn't going to stay for too long, she must have a family looking for her."_ Piper stayed in her thoughts until she lifted up a towel from the floor and saw a wallet and phone laying on the ground. As someone who found a hard time keeping to herself and was curious by nature, Piper picked up both items to try and find out who this woman was, but she was sure not to take too long. She tried to turn on the phone first but it was dead, she then opened the wallet and was greeted with a driver license for the woman. Her picture was on the front and next to it was the name _VAUSE, ALEX._ Piper then looked at the rest of Alex's license and found out that she was 26 (only a few years older than herself) and an organ donor. Piper subconsciously hoped that she wouldn't need to use the information of the latter.

Piper went back out into the lounge and pressed a pad to the gash on Alex's side, she rose an eyebrow but Piper simply stated that is was to help absorb the blood. Piper wrapped a bandage around Alex's shin as it was not as badly cut, she then went out to the kitchen and came back with disinfectant, water, and paracetamol. Piper gave the water and paracetamol to Alex so that she could have some pain relief, she then put the disinfectant on a towel, removed the pad, and dabbed at the cut on her side so that it would stay clean, she then placed a clean pad on the gash and wrapped it up with a bandage. After checking that it was tight but not enough to cause her too much pain she sat next to Alex on the couch and looked at her face. She was sweating from strain and pain so Piper delicately wiped the sweat from her face with a dry towel. Alex made eye contact with her and, for a moment, they just looked into the other's eyes, each just as curious about the person sitting in front of them.

Piper ended the moment by handing Alex over her phone and wallet "You left these in the bathroom"

Alex looked confused and then chuckled, "My belongings weren't exactly at the forefront of my mind, but thanks" she then opened her wallet to see that her license was at an angle from an assumed hasty attempt of Piper putting it back. "Considering that you have looked through my belongings, I'll assume you already know my name?"

Piper looked down in embarrassment and she could feel a blush form on her cheeks, she was never good at keeping out of other people's business "I was seeing if there was anyone that I should phone to tell them about you." It was a poor attempt at trying to defend herself as she said with the smallest amount of conviction, it almost sounded like a question.

Alex must have noticed that Piper meant no harm and changed her tone to a softer one "It's ok, I know you were just trying to help. Although, it's only fair that I know your name if you know mine."

"Piper, Piper Chapman"

Alex smiled, and because it seemed she was talking with little struggle, Piper knew that the paracetamol must have started to kick in. "Do you need anything Alex? I have some food in the fridge and if you need any water just tell me"

Alex thanked her and asked for some food so Piper went off into the kitchen to heat up some soup in the fridge, leftover from the night previous. She then went to see if she could find any bread for toast but as she opened her pantry she was met with just half a packet of crackers and a Lucky Charms cereal box. She used to keep her pantry full and ready just in case any visitors came over, but for a while, she had been isolating herself from others and had developed eating habits that her parents would surely frown upon. Deciding that crackers would probably go better with the soup than the cereal, she placed them on plates for her and Alex. Once the soup had finished heating up it was poured into two bowls, she then carried the food back into the lounge knowing that Alex was not in a state to walk to the dining table.

Alex took the soup and crackers from Piper gratefully and wolfed down the food. Piper ate at hers slowly, for the last couple of weeks she had drastically lost her appetite but seeing Alex practically inhale her food helped Piper to eat more than what she usually would. It was nearly amusing to see Alex eat so fast, Piper almost thought that she would choke on the food, then the blonde wondered how long it might have been since the brunette had last eaten.

Piper cleaned up after them and told Alex she can sleep on the couch as she wouldn't be able to walk up the stairs to the guest room without hurting herself even more, she then got her a blanket and pillows and helped her lay down on the couch. Piper had considered driving her to the nearest hospital but the roads were too dangerous in this weather and it would have taken around 30-45 minutes to get there in good conditions. She decided it would be for the best if she just waited until tomorrow when there would hopefully be some daylight and an ease in the downfall of rain.

Piper asked Alex if she was needed anywhere tomorrow "Is there anyone that could be looking for you or be wondering where you are?"

Alex looked down and just shook her head. Piper knew she should ask her more questions but it was getting late and instead told Alex that she would be sleeping upstairs and that if she needed anything or was in a great deal of pain again she should just yell out. She then left the room and went to her own bed, closing the door behind her. Piper knew it was going to be another restless night but willed herself to sleep.

* * *

Piper woke up from her restless sleep to a bloodcurdling scream and jumped out of bed to check on Alex, worried that she might have been in more pain than Piper previously thought. Regretting not taking her to the hospital earlier she raced down the stairs only to find that Alex was asleep but having a nightmare. She didn't know what to do in a situation like this so she went to Alex's side and tried to hold her to stop her from thrashing around and causing more damage to the gash on her side "Alex, shh it's ok, you're safe. Just breathe, you're ok now". Piper didn't bother waking her up because she knew you were meant to keep a sleepwalker from waking but didn't know if the same applied to nightmares, she thought it was better to be safe than sorry and let her sleep. As she held Alex in her arms and whispered words of comfort, she felt the older woman ease a bit and a small warm feeling was moving around her body from where she was in contact with Alex. Piper may have thought more of it if it weren't for the fact that she was focused on keeping Alex still. Alex slowly calmed down and her breathing returned to normal but Piper stayed with her for just a bit longer.

Once Piper knew that Alex was soundly asleep again she went back to her room, knowing that she would have to endure another long, sleepless night.

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A/N That's the end of the second chapter, please review I really appreciate feedback and some suggestions as it helps me improve my writing. Thank you for reading, I'm aiming to upload weekly so I'll see you then :) -boundless


	3. 3 Let Me Get to Know You

A/N here is the third chapter, I just want to say thank you to all of the positive feedback I've been getting, it really encourages me to keep writing. Merry Christmas/Happy New Year and I hope you enjoy this chapter. By the way, when you see **_xxx_** , it means there is a flashback. A song I recommend for this chapter is Jungle by Tash Sultana-boundless

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Chapter 3

 _As she held Alex in her arms and whispered words of comfort, she felt the older woman ease a bit and a small warm feeling was moving around her body from where she was in contact with Alex. Piper may have thought more of it if it weren't for the fact that she was focused on keeping Alex still. Alex slowly calmed down and her breathing returned to normal but Piper stayed with her for just a bit longer._

 _Once Piper knew that Alex was soundly asleep again she went back to her room, knowing that she would have to endure another long, sleepless night._

 **Alex's POV**

Alex woke up on the couch, dazed and confused about where she was. As she slowly gathered her senses a pain shot through her right side, she suddenly remembered the events of last night.

 ** _xxx_**

 _Alex knocked on the door of the large house and was greeted by a woman with shoulder length blonde hair and cerulean eyes. The woman was going to leave her outside but Alex was in so much pain she knew that if she didn't get any help that she would surely die._

 _The woman let her into her home and got Alex a fresh set of clothes and a towel whilst Alex had a shower._

 _After having a shower Alex was in more pain than before and the blonde seemed to notice. Alex wasn't used to anyone going out of their way to help her and tried to keep her face devoid of any emotion. The blonde was so nice to her and offered her food and a place to rest, Alex learned that her name was Piper and after she had gone upstairs to her room Alex went to sleep faster than what she thought she would._

 ** _xxx_**

Alex recalled having a bad dream last night and the feeling of someone's arms around her, telling her everything was going to be okay, but just assumed that she had dreamt that as well. Alex went to move into a sitting position on the couch but was in too much pain to do so and let out a small grunt. Piper must have been in the kitchen because she came to check on Alex just as soon as she heard it.

"How are you feeling today?" Piper helped Alex sit up straight.

Alex shrugged, not knowing how much she should tell Piper, she didn't want to waste her time and needed to leave soon, so if she told her how sore she really was, she might have to stay in the blonde's home for a bit longer and Alex didn't want the people chasing her to put Piper in harm's way. She seemed too innocent to get caught up in Alex's world.

Piper looked at Alex and Alex felt like the blonde was seeing right through her "Hmm, okay. I'll give you some breakfast and then I'm going to take you to the hospital. I don't want that cut of yours getting infected."

Alex just nodded her head, she was in no condition to protest and the longer she was awake the hungrier she got.

Piper returned with some cereal and Alex ate as much as she could, it had been awhile since she had had two meals in a row.

Once she finished, Piper took the plates and cutlery into the kitchen and Alex looked around the lounge room. The couch she was on was made of soft leather and across from it was a TV cabinet and a television set on top of it. To her right was a large window which showed the front yard that leads to the road she walked down. Next to the couch on the right led to the kitchen and stairway behind her. To the left of the couch, photos of Piper, and who Alex assumed were her family and friends, littered the walls up to the entrance to the downstairs bathroom. As Alex looked at the photos of Piper, she started to wonder about the life she had left behind in New York and if anyone had noticed her being gone. She didn't get very far into her thoughts as Piper came back into the lounge to replace the bandages on her wounds.

Piper undressed the one on her side and dabbed some more disinfectant against it, Alex started to sweat again as it felt like someone was burning her, Alex grabbed Piper's hand and closed her eyes to deal with the pain. Piper noticed how Alex was reacting and gave her some more paracetamol, the brunette gratefully took it with the glass of water beside the couch.

Piper carefully placed a new pad and bandage on the gash in her side and replaced the bandage on her right shin. Alex wasn't used to much physical contact but Piper helped her delicately and was careful not to hurt Alex or put her in any more pain while trying to help her, Alex didn't mind that it was Piper looking after her at this moment and her fingers were soft against her skin.

Once Piper was done she put her arm around Alex's back and helped her up. Alex could feel that the blonde wasn't strong enough to lift her up on her own so tried to put most of her weight on her left leg. Piper led her to the front door and out onto the deck, she then motioned to Alex to sit in one of the chairs outside while she went back into the house to get some things. Fortunately, Piper had a roof over the deck so the chairs didn't get wet in the storm the previous night. Alex looked out and saw that the rain was now coming down lightly but the dirt road was soaked from the downfall last night, she took in her surroundings and wondered if Piper was living in this big house by herself, she seemed younger than Alex and didn't seem like she had large amounts of money to her name.

Piper came out of the house with Alex's now charged phone, her own phone, shoes for Alex, and her keys and wallet.

Piper helped Alex put the shoes on as she was unable to bend over. "I washed your shoes last night but they are ruined so I just got you a spare pair of mine, I hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, absolutely, thanks for everything." Alex looked at Piper and it seemed as if she was about to smile but stopped herself before it showed. Alex thought that was quite strange but didn't want to ask the blonde anything so as not to sound ungrateful or rude.

Piper helped Alex into her car and pulled out of the driveway to the hospital.

* * *

 **Piper's POV**

Piper never liked hospitals. When she was younger they always felt too sterile and she was freaked out about the number of people that died there. Piper still despises hospitals now but for other reasons also. The last time Piper was here the doctors thought she was going to die and she was alone. No one came to her bedside, her parents didn't even call to see if she was going to be alright, it made her feel even worse than she had ever felt before. It made her think that there was no one left who cared for her and Piper was going to make sure that someone would be there for Alex.

Piper signed them in and Alex was taken away in a wheelchair. The nurse told her that the doctor might take a while but to wait in the reception room until he called for her.

Piper sat down in an old used chair and watched the people come in and out of the hospital. Some in wheelchairs, others in stretchers with sheets over their faces. She began to feel nervous and started wondering what was taking the doctor so long, she picked up her phone and searched Alex's name to see if she could find any posts on social media or people looking for her.

After searching the internet for almost 20 minutes Piper had still found nothing about the mysterious woman. The doctor came into the waiting room and told Piper to follow him to see Alex.

As Piper walked down the hallways she heard sounds of coughing and crying, starting to get a sense of the walls closing in on her, Piper walked closer to the doctor and picked up her pace, she wanted to get out of this place as soon as she could.

Piper entered the room that Alex was in. She was laying down and had been dressed in a hospital gown, Alex lifted her head up when she saw Piper enter the room and looked almost relieved to see her. The doctor told them he was going to leave them alone for a bit and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Piper took a seat in the chair next to the bed and maintained eye contact with Alex. She had so many questions for the woman in front of her but thought that she should ask the more rational ones first. "Hi."

"Hey."

They continued to look at each other for a moment until Piper broke the silence again "Do you want me to get anything for you Alex? I have your phone on me if you need to tell someone where you are?"

Alex shrugged, she seemed as adamant about not talking about that topic as she had last night.

"Alex you need to tell me so we can get you home"

The brunette formed a sad smile on her face "I was leaving my home Piper, no one is looking for me."

Piper was going to ask more questions about the information that Alex had just shared with her when the doctor came back in. "Okay, Ms Vause, we're going to stitch you right up and then you should be able to be released. You will need someone to take care of you for about two weeks though."

"Two weeks!?" both Piper and Alex said simultaneously.

"I'm sure I won't need that long to heal, right?"

The doctor looked at Alex with pity "Ms Vause, the gash on your right torso is very deep and if it had been any wider or been slightly more over your back, you would have damaged a kidney. You're also very lucky that is wasn't any deeper or we would've had to check your large intestine for damage as well."

Alex's face paled as she realised how badly she could have ended up.

"I'd say you are very fortunate that you only need two weeks recovery considering the amount of muscle damage you have done."

Piper looked at the doctor and Alex. "Can we please talk alone for just a moment?"

The doctor nodded and said he would be back with a nurse in around five minutes.

Piper looked at Alex and wondered what she was going to have to do with her. "Is there anywhere you were headed to stay or someone you know nearby?"

"No Piper, I don't have anyone."

Piper looked down and thought if Alex would want to stay with her for a bit longer. She does have a guest room and the time to support them both throughout the two weeks, she also needed a distraction from her own life besides work. Piper looked back at Alex, "You could stay at my house."

"Piper-"

"No, seriously. I know we only just met less than 24 hours ago and this sounds crazy, but you need someone to take care of you Alex, you're in no position to even walk without assistance or stand for long periods of time."

Alex looked at Piper, the blonde could see her brain working behind her emerald eyes. "Okay, but only for the two weeks, then I have to go."

Piper nodded her head and reached for Alex's hand, she was secretly glad that Alex would stay with her. She knew first hand how it feels to be alone in a time of need and didn't want Alex to go through the same feelings as her.

As the doctor came in with the nurse and began to give Alex her stitches, Piper felt a vibration in her pocket and saw that Polly was calling her, probably about Popi, their soap store. Piper took a deep breath, picked up the phone and excused herself from the room.

"Hi, Polly."

"Piper! I've been calling you for days, I thought you were dead!"

Piper felt nauseous after the last few words Polly said

"I'm fine Polly really, I was just... looking after a friend."

"Don't lie to me Piper, I'm pretty much your only friend."

The blonde sighed and told Polly about Alex, leaving out the part of her having no one to go to.

"Piper! She could have been a killer looking for her next victim!"

"Well, she is in no state to kill anyone at the moment so I think I'm fairly safe. She also seems like a decent person, based off of the few words she has said to me."

"Okay, Piper, whatever floats your boat."

Piper stayed silent for a few seconds before asking "What was the real reason you called Polly?" she knew that Polly must want something from her considering she hadn't called the blonde in over a month and only just started trying to contact her a few days ago.

"Why can't I just be calling to see if my best friend is alright?"

Piper waited for Polly to tell her the truth.

"Okay, fine. I wanted to tell you something about Larry."

* * *

 **Alex's POV**

As Alex waited for the doctor and nurse to finish her stitches, she was thinking about who Piper was talking to on the phone outside of the room. She heard some voices escalate and then silence. After a moment Alex saw the door open and Piper walked into the room with an odd expression on her face, she picked up her sweatshirt and said that she needed to use the bathroom and that she'll be right back.

Ten minutes had passed and Piper had still not returned, Alex would have been worried that she had been ditched if it wasn't that Piper had left her phone and keys in the room with the brunette. Alex didn't want to admit it but she would feel down if Piper had just ditched her. The doctor was almost done and said that she would need to be taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair once he and the nurse had finished. During this conversation, Piper returned to the room. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying, her face had paled slightly and she was wearing the sweatshirt she had taken with her to the bathroom. Alex didn't know what was wrong but seeing the blonde sad made her heart feel like someone was squeezing it in their fist. Alex assumed it was from the medications the doctor had given her and tried not to dwell on it.

The doctor then went over to Piper with a prescription for Alex's medicine. The brunette overheard the doctor telling Piper how to keep the stitches clean and what Alex was allowed, and wasn't allowed, to do.

Alex was released an hour late and Piper pushed her in the wheelchair to the car.

* * *

At Piper's house, Alex was helped upstairs by the blonde who took her into the guest room. Piper said that she was going to get Alex some food for lunch. They had stopped at a grocery store near the hospital so that Piper could refill her pantry and make sure she had enough food for the both of them.

As Piper went downstairs, Alex observed her surroundings. There was a mirror, a cupboard, and a dresser in the room and a photo of Piper and who Alex assumed was her family. Alex felt a sense of sadness wash over her as she remembered her mother.

Diane Vause had died seven months ago from an aneurysm and Alex regretted every day not saying goodbye to her. The last time she saw her mother alive was when she was leaving for work in Paris. The last words she had said to her mother was over the phone, Diane was trying to figure out how to you the new Television set Alex had bought for her and Alex was getting tired of explaining it to her mother. The last thing she ever said was "I don't know mum! just get someone else to do it". Alex wished she told her how much she loved and cared for her, not those thoughtless, bitter words.

Diane and Alex's friend Nicky were the only people Alex had let into her life and she had let them both down from her old job. She promised herself that she would never get close to anyone ever again as it always hurt her too much when she had to say goodbye.

And then there was Piper. A stranger who had let Alex into her home during a time of need and even offered Alex to stay with her while she recovered. Piper could have easily turned her away or taken her in and killed her, but something about the woman intrigued Alex. Piper had a certain softness about her and Alex wasn't aware of it yet but she was drawn to the blonde.

Piper came in with a sandwich for Alex and the brunette wiped her tears away.

She couldn't help but think how much Diane would've liked Piper.

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A/N That's the end of chapter 3, the next few chapters is when more stuff starts to get revealed and some drama starts. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it :) -boundless


	4. 4 I Didn't Mean for You to Cry

A/N Hi everyone! Gosh, I haven't published since last year! (It's a bad pun, I know, sorry, I can't help it) Anyways, here is chapter 4, things are starting to heat up. I hope you enjoy! A song I recommend for this chapter is Four Seasons In One Day by Crowded House -boundless

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Chapter 4

 _Piper came in with a sandwich for Alex and the brunette wiped her tears away._

 _She couldn't help but think how much Diane would've liked Piper._

 **Piper's POV**

The next day, Piper went into the guest room to wake Alex up so that she could have some food and help her get into fresh clothes. As she walked in she saw Alex asleep on her back, her chest rose softly as she breathed lightly while she slept. Piper could now really take in all of the woman's features. The blonde hadn't noticed it before but Alex was very attractive. Her dark hair was ruffled from sleep and her lips were slightly parted, her face had softened in sleep and Piper hoped that she had better dreams that night. The blonde was hesitant to wake her up as she looked so peaceful and needed to rest.

It was as if Alex knew that Piper was staring at her because she started to stir under Piper's gaze. The blonde walked over to the edge of the bed and put her hand up to Alex's head to check for a temperature. Alex opened her eyes and Piper looked down to meet her line of vision. "Good morning."

Alex grunted and tried to sit up.

"Let me help you" Piper put her hand on Alex's back and helped her to sit up straight.

"Thanks."

Piper just smiled at her and brought the fresh change of clothes onto the bed. "You can borrow some of my clothes until we find your car and get the rest of your things." Piper said as she recalled Alex's 'story'. Piper unfolded the shirt and gestured Alex to help her take off the spare nightgown she had given her. Alex lifted her arms up and Piper went to pull off the clothing, "I'm fine, Piper. I can get changed by myself."

Piper looked at Alex and thought about protesting but didn't want to upset her, so she just nodded and left the room until Alex told her she could come back in again.

Piper helped Alex down the stairs and into the dining room/kitchen area. Alex sat down on one of the chairs and Piper put a plate of toast and a glass of juice that she had already prepared down in front of her.

As Alex ate, Piper went to get the medicine and bandages that the doctor had given to her yesterday so that she could clean the stitches. She walked back to meet Alex at the table. She gave Alex the medicine to have while she cleaned the stitches.

Piper rolled up the shirt she had given Alex and removed the bandages on her side, cleaned the stitches, and replaced the bandage with a clean one. Piper then rolled up Alex's right pants leg and made sure that the graze wasn't infected before putting some disinfectant cream on it. Alex cringed from the pain of the disinfectant working but Piper was gentle and let Alex hold her hand.

Once she was finished, Piper sat next to Alex and decided she should try an get some more clear answers out of her.

"Alex, I know that you been through a lot in the past 48 hours, but you need to tell me what really happened."

Alex looked at Piper as if deciding whether or not she should tell her the truth, Piper wished she would.

"I crashed my car in the storm, it was so dark and I couldn't see anything except for a faint light ahead."

"But Alex, my candles had burned out hours before you arrived here. How long did you have to walk?"

Alex exhaled loudly and paused for a moment. Piper just waited for Alex to answer her.

"I walked for a few minutes but there was a ditch in the side of the road which I fell into. I tried to get out but I was in so much pain, I turned my phone on and the light showed that I was bleeding badly. I was thinking of calling someone to help me but then my phone died. By the time I started to walk again the lights I had seen were gone but I roughly knew the direction they were in. I couldn't walk very fast, hence me showing up at your door late."

Piper took a few seconds to process this information. She decided to believe that Alex was telling her the truth, but didn't know what she was doing in this part of Ithaca at all.

"Do you think you could give me directions to where you think you crashed?"

Alex nodded and Piper took her to her car so that they could locate the brunette's vehicle.

* * *

 **Alex's POV**

Alex was looking out of the window trying to locate her car. After 10 minutes of driving, Alex pointed to the side of the road and Piper pulled over. Together (with Piper helping Alex) they walked to the wreck that was Alex's vehicle.

The front of the car was crushed so that it was flat against the driver's window, the back had been torn apart and the seat that Alex would have been in was a centimetre away from being impaled by a post sticking out from the ground.

Alex went to the side of the road and threw up, she had avoided death more times than she had thought in the last two days. She felt a hand on her back between her shoulder blades, it was slowly rubbing her back in circles. It comforted her and as she turned around she saw Piper looking at her with heavy eyes, it was as if she was trying to say sorry for what Alex had been through, Alex even thought for a moment that the blonde was going to hug her.

After a moment of silence, Alex stood up and limped her way to the back of the wreck. Her bag was laying on the ground unscathed and she went to reach for it but Piper had beat her to it. Piper picked up the bag and put it in the back of her car. "I'll go and phone a towing service, see if you can find anything else before they come to take the car away.". If you need help reaching something just tell me.

Alex nodded and shuffled to the glove box. She found her emergency money, a few pictures from her friends, and then bid her farewell to the car.

 ** _xxx_**

 _Alex walked back home after the funeral to her mum's house, she felt too bad to drive and she just wanted to say goodbye to her mother by herself. She trodded up the driveway to be met with her mother's old, grey Nissan 1996 Sentra. Even after Alex had bought Diane a new house, enough money so she wouldn't have to work, and other luxuries that the middle class could not afford, her mother had been insistent on keeping the car. It was the car that Alex had learnt how to drive in and the one that would always take Diane to wherever Alex was staying in New York._

 _Alex remembers Diane picking her up in the car after school and taking her to the diner she worked part-time at so that Alex and she could talk about their days. Alex used to be embarrassed by her mother's car, but now she would give anything to see her driving in it to meet Alex, one last time._

 _Alex sat down in the vehicle and breathed in the air, it still smelt like her mum. Alex knew that if she were to drive the car now, it would feel like her mother would be sitting in the passenger seat right beside her, smiling at her only daughter._

 _ **xxx**_

Brushing the tears from her face with her sleeve, Alex turned around and made her way to Piper's car. Alex saw Piper walk over to her to help her and as soon as she supported Alex by putting her arm around her back, Alex realised just how strained she was. Alex let the blonde lead her to the car and sat down, all she wanted to do was fall asleep.

* * *

At the house, Piper and Alex were having lunch when Piper's phone started to ring. She excused herself and then walked into the lounge to take the call. Alex didn't mean to eavesdrop on the conversation but she had nothing else to do and Piper was only in the next room.

"No, Polly, I don't want to talk about it"

Alex didn't know who Polly was but it sounded like she was in the doghouse.

"I just can't understand why you would do this to me... how dare you say that! It wasn't my fault and if I had known that my relationship was 'doomed' I would have tried to fix it... stop being such a bitch and don't call me again!"

Alex started to feel guilty listening to this obviously private conversation.

"You know what Polly, sometimes I wish that too!".

Alex heard Piper's voice crack and then the phone call ended. Piper came back into the dining room, Alex just looked at her as if she hadn't heard a thing. Piper looked as if she was about to cry and seemed as if she was about to say something to Alex but instead apologised and told her she was going to the bathroom. Alex saw Piper rush upstairs and heard her bedroom and bathroom door shut behind her.

Alex wasn't quite so sure about what had just happened but she wanted to help Piper so she slowly took the plates to the sink and turned the tap on the wash them.

After about ten minutes, Alex felt Piper's presence in the kitchen.

"Thank you Alex, but I could have done them later"

"No it's fine, you've done heaps for me and you probably needed to cool off after that heated conversation with Polly"

Piper looked embarrassed and Alex noticed that she had put on a sweater whilst she was upstairs.

"I'm assuming you heard my talk with her then?"

It was Alex's turn to feel flustered "I didn't mean to eavesdrop... I mean it...it was quite loud and...and I was just sitting down and-"

"Alex, it's fine. I could tell you didn't mean to."

An awkward silence fell between the two, Piper took the towel from Alex's hand and began to dry the plates.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Piper shrugged "Maybe when I know you more. We do have two weeks together after all."

Alex chuckled "Yeah kid, I guess we do".

The silence left was more comfortable now, and both women looked at each other like they had the other night, both curious about the other. Alex wished she knew what was going on with the blonde. This moment was interrupted by a text sound from Piper's phone, Alex saw her look down. Piper looked at her with an apologetic look in her eyes and went upstairs, Alex heard the bedroom and bathroom door shut again.

Alex thought something was off about Piper having to go to the bathroom so soon after she had last gone, but she just assumed that Piper must have a weak bladder.

After Piper came back down she helped Alex to the room she was staying in and said she was going out for a run but would be back in an hour. So Alex was alone, laying down on the bed, left to her own devices.

After seven minutes or so, Alex realised she needed to go to the bathroom.

The brunette hoisted herself out of bed and limped to the door, leaning against the walls for support. As she got out of her room she saw Piper's door opposite and went to lean against the door so she could start her way down the stairs. As she placed her hand on the doorknob and put her weight on it, the door opened and Alex fell into Piper's bedroom. She picked herself up and looked around the room. The only photographs in the room were in turned down picture frames so that you could not see them. Piper's bed was messily made and she had unfinished books littering the room, the room smelled like blossoms and there was a half-open laptop laying on Piper's bed.

Alex knew that after she fell she would not be able to go to the downstairs bathroom and back, so she made her way to Piper's lead-on bathroom, she was sure the blonde wouldn't mind and would be done before she got back.

Once Alex had finished using the toilet she went to wash her hands. She looked in the mirror at her reflection and saw a shell of the once powerful woman she used to be, deciding not to travel down that dark path in her thoughts, she turned off the tap and looked for a towel to dry her hands on. The only one she could find was on the lowest level of the shelf next to the basin, an odd place for a towel. She looked down at the towel and saw that there were some dark red stains on the edge of it. Alex dried her hands on the clean side of the towel, confused as to what the stains could be from.

As Alex went to put the towel back, something caught her eye. She looked down at the shelf to the place where she found the towel and saw the objects that were hidden by it.

They were razors, one with fresh blood.

* * *

A/N Oooh, what's going to happen next? we'll just have to wait and see ;) Just letting you know that my next few uploads might be a little late because I am going away for a week and school starts in three weeks, I am trying to keep on top of the chapters though! Anyways, please leave a review and thank you so much for reading, I really do appreciate it. Thanks for everything and I'll see you sometime in the next two weeks, hopefully :) -boundless


	5. 5A I'll Help You If You Help Me: Part 1

A/N Hey guys and gals, sorry to leave you on that little piece of drama (not really, I love little cliffhangers) but here is the fifth chapter, as I was writing this my laptop crashed and none of my writing was saved so I'm not super happy with this chapter but I hope you enjoy it! A song that I recommend for this chapter is Snow by Red Hot Chilli Peppers -boundless

* * *

Chapter 5 Part 1

 _As Alex went to put the towel back, something caught her eye. She looked down at the shelf to the place where she found the towel and saw the objects that were hidden by it._

 _They were razors, one with fresh blood._

 **Alex's POV**

Alex spent the next day thinking about her discovery and kept a close eye on Piper, she was trying to piece everything together. As much as Alex didn't want to jump to conclusions she couldn't deny the facts. Everytime Piper got a phone call with bad news or was worried about something, she went to the bathroom and always came back pale, wearing a jumper or sweatshirt. Piper was also the only person that Alex has ever seen to wear long sleeved shirts in the middle of the summer, now that she thinks about it, Alex has never seen Piper wear a short-sleeved shirt _once_. The brunette sighed. She had found a blood-covered razor in Piper's bathroom after she had gone in there after a text from someone whom Alex assumed must have been Polly.

This then leads to the question, who is Polly and what did she do to Piper?

Alex was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice Piper heading to her bathroom again. _Almost_.

"Hey, Pipes."

Piper turned, and Alex didn't register the nickname she had just endowed Piper with.

"Yeah, Alex?"

"Um..."

Alex didn't know what to say to Piper, all she knew was that she didn't want the blonde to hurt herself again.

"Can you help me move to the patio outside? I need some fresh air."

Piper seemed almost relieved that she could help Alex instead of going to her bathroom. The brunette knew then that Piper had indeed been going to hurt herself.

"Sure, Alex."

Piper put her arm around the brunette's shoulders and helped her up and out of the sofa, she was sitting on.

Together they walked to the patio at the front of the house and took a seat to look out at the garden.

Alex turned to look at Piper but the blonde was staring out at the garden in front of her, lost in thought. Alex followed her gaze. As she observed her surroundings she realised that at the end of where the driveway met the road, there was a large forest expanding around the area. Piper was very isolated in a place like this. It was at this time Alex decided she was going to get to know the blonde better. "If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be and why?"

Piper laughed and went look at Alex "I'm sorry, what?"

"If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be and why?"

"Oh, gosh." Piper shook her head and smiled softly "That's such an odd, out-of-the-blue question, Alex"

"I can go first if you want?" Alex looked at Piper, waiting for an answer.

"No, it's fine. You took me by surprise, that's all. Just give me a moment to think about it."

Piper looked back out to the garden, her eyebrows were furrowed and her nose was slightly crinkled. Alex thought it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen but quickly told herself how weird it was to think that. They had only known each other for a few days.

Piper turned to look back at Alex "My grandmother, Martin Luther King Jr, and Elton John."

The brunette couldn't help but laugh. "That's quite an odd group of people. Can you tell me why?"

"Elton John, because I use to listen to his music when I was a teenager and he seems like he'd be up for any conversation. Martin Luther King Jr, to talk to him about all of the amazing activist work he did and to get a different viewpoint on today's society. My grandmother, Celeste, because she was my closest family member and it would be nice just to talk with her again."

"Was?"

"Yeah, she passed a couple months ago." Piper lowered her head.

"I'm sorry"

"No, it's ok. Sometimes I just miss her more than other times"

The two stayed in silence for a moment. Alex felt some guilt for making Piper bring up the topic.

"Who would you choose?"

The brunette realised she had not answered the question yet and responded without thinking "My mum, Nicky, and Cate Blanchett."

Piper laughed and Alex just wanted to put that sound on repeat

"Can you tell me why?"

"Oh, sure" Alex realised that she was starting to give away parts of herself she had kept hidden for so long. "Nicky, she's my best friend. I haven't seen her in about 5 months, and Cate Blanchett because she looks like she'd have really cool fingers."

"What about your mum?" Piper seemed like she was enjoying herself.

Alex knew that the blonde had no idea about her mum and just wanted to get to keep the conversation going, but Alex didn't know how much she should say. She decided on the truth, Piper might be offended if she thought Alex didn't trust her.

"My mum because I want to say goodbye to her properly. She died about 7 months ago and I would just like to tell her how much I love her."

Alex felt an arm go around her. She looked at Piper and they stayed in silence for a few moments. Alex hadn't told anyone about what had happened to her mother except Nicky, and she had left her months ago. She felt somewhat relieved that she had gotten it off of her chest.

* * *

After spending the day getting to know each other, both women became a little more comfortable in the other's presence. Alex found out that she and Piper shared similar interests in lots of things, literature included. The brunette loved to read so this already made their bond a little stronger.

Alex didn't want to ruin their day together so she stayed quiet about her discovery last night. This did not stop her from thinking about it though. Once she and Piper had gone to their separate bedrooms, Alex stayed awake, running questions through her mind.

Piper seemed like such a happy person, why would she hurt herself? The brunette knew that sometimes people didn't hurt themselves out of sadness, it could be other reasons as well. So she pieced together bits of information and formed a list in her head. Alex had only been around one other self-harming person before in her life and no memories of him hurting himself were good ones.

 ** _xxx_**

 _"Hey, John!"_

 _Alex called out to her friend, he was spending so much time at home that she barely got to see him anymore. As she ran to pull him into a hug she noticed the bandages over his hands and wrists. She looked up into his eyes but John turned his head away from her._

 _"Hi, Al."_

 _Alex just pulled her friend closer._

 _She had known John since she was little. They had lived next to each other for all 15 years of their lives and were going to the same high school together. John was one of Alex's very few friends. She didn't like to socialize at school and sometimes got bullied for her lack of money, but John was always at her side. Together they had made it through kindergarten, elementary, middle school, and now they were with each other for the homestretch._

 _John had recently been spending a lot of his time at home instead of with Alex. She was okay with that as she worked throughout most of her free time to keep her mum and herself afloat, but Alex also knew that John was battling against depression so he might need some time to himself. What Alex didn't know, was that her best friend was hurting himself in that alone time._

 _Alex pulled away from the hug and took an arm in each of her hands to look at them._

 _"John?" She looked into his eyes, asking a question she could not say in words._

 _"I'm fine, Al. It's nothing you need to worry about."_

 _Alex wanted so badly to believe him, but she also knew how much he struggled with his obsessive personality. One time, in fifth grade, John had fallen in love with the sound of a pen against papers and spent a week in his room scribbling on pieces of paper until his hands were raw and there were bits of paper and pen all over his bedroom. Alex knew that if he had hurt himself on purpose and willingly, he may not be able to stop._

 _"John, if you need anything I'm just over the fence. Don't feel afraid to stop."_

 _He looked at her and nodded with a small smile. He knew what would happen if he couldn't control himself._

 _ **xxx**_

Alex shook the memory out of her head and tried to get some rest.

* * *

 **Piper's POV**

Piper went to bed feeling better than she had in a long time. She really felt like she and Alex were connecting and that it would be an almost enjoyable two weeks together.

She had been slowly falling down the grave that she was digging for herself until Alex came along. Alex had been a much-needed distraction for Piper, a beautiful and intriguing distraction, but one at that. Her whole year had been pretty shitty. She had a falling out with her last serious relationship, her best friend Polly had betrayed her in the most heinous of ways, and she had left New York to live in Ithaca.

Piper had moved to get away from her smothering parents and create a life for herself away from the drama, only it seemed to have followed her. In the time since Piper had been living in Ithaca, all of the worst things that could have happened to her did. She had also been hospitalised three times, one time the doctors were sure that she would die and had contacted her friends and family but no one, not even her brothers, came to see her.

The blonde knew what it felt like to be alone in the world and wanted to help Alex through whatever she seemed to be going through.

She had learnt some stuff about Alex today but there was such an air of mystery around her. Who was Alex Vause? Where did she come from? Why was she travelling down an old road in the middle of nowhere? And why did she seem like she was in such a rush to leave?

Piper had decided early on that she liked Alex, she seemed like her heart was in the right place. Piper also couldn't deny that the woman was attractive and her little smirk made her somewhat weak in the knees. Sure, she had read almost all of the same books as Piper and could hold a conversation, her features were also godlike and her voice was rough but yet as smooth as liquid gold. _Piper, what are you thinking?_ her internal monologue questioned her _You just met this woman no more than 4 days ago and now you're thinking of her as a schoolgirl crush?_ The blonde couldn't disagree with that little voice in her head, but she also knew that keeping things platonic with Alex would be the best way to go. Her last relationship ended badly and took a lot out of her, she doubted that she could commit to something anytime soon.

 _ **xxx**_

 _Piper had just finished having a nice meal with Alex when her phone started to ring. She looked at the ID and saw that it was Polly. What a bitch. Piper knew that she couldn't ignore her forever so she picked up the phone and sent Alex an apologetic look._

 _She walked out of the dining room and pressed accept on her phone._

 _"What do you want Polly?"_

 _"Piper, we need to talk about what happened"_

 _"No, Polly, I don't want to talk about it"_

 _"Come on, Piper. I've been your best friend for five years now, you know I didn't intend to hurt you."_

 _"I just can't understand why you would do this to me"_

 _Piper waited for a reply knowing that whatever Polly said next would affect the path of this conversation and maybe their friendship._

 _"I didn't want to do this to you and I thought that you would be over it by now. Besides, you didn't even love Larry when you were together with him, he left you because you were acting all weird and distant, you knew that he was going to leave you at some point. That relationship just wasn't meant to work out, Pipes."_

 _Piper couldn't believe that Polly had the nerve to blame her for her failed relationship with Larry "How dare you say that! It wasn't my fault and If I had known that my relationship was 'doomed' I would have tried to fix it."_

 _"Wow, Piper. That's rich coming from you. You would have somehow managed to get your shit together, and fix your broken relationship, just as you tried to fix that Popi line, or attempted to salvage a small sliver of that pathetic excuse of a life you have. Never, have I once, seen you try to care about anything other than yourself, and you even do a shit job at that."_

 _Piper was hurt that Polly thought about her like that and was about to give her a piece of her mind when Polly started talking again._

 _"You can't even try to be happy for me Piper. I have finally found someone that makes me happy and you're too consumed in your own self-pity to acknowledge that. You broke up six months ago, it's time to move on and get out of that narcissistic bubble that you have been living in. Reality moves on no matter what you do Piper, it's time to join the real world and snap out of that so-called 'depression' that you have and get happy for yourself and other people. You're just being self-absorbed at this point Pipes, so fuck you."_

 _Polly obviously had no idea about what depression was like and Piper was done with the people she cared for in her life giving her shit._

 _"Stop being such a bitch and don't call me again!"_

 _"You know what, Piper? sometimes I wish that you had just died"_

 _"You know what Polly, sometimes I wish that too!"._

 _Pipers voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she ended the phone call._

 ** _xxx_**

Piper had fallen asleep, dreaming of her conversation with Polly when she heard shouts coming from the upstairs guest room. The blonde jumped out of bed and threw on a jumper, she then ran out into the hallway and opened the door to Alex's room. She laid eyes on the thrashing brunette. She was shouting incoherent words and her face was scrunched up in fear. Piper sat on the end of the bed and tried to keep her still so she wouldn't hurt herself.

"Alex, Al, wake up. It's just a dream."

Alex tried to push Piper away but the blonde just kept holding onto Alex's shoulders to stop her from splitting open the stitches.

"Alex, please!"

The brunette was slowly coming back to her senses and Piper noticed that her eyes were starting to open.

"Where...where am I?"

"Alex, it's me, Piper. You're in the guest bedroom."

The brunette opened her eyes wide and looked around the room. She then turned to Piper and she saw realisation in the brunette's eyes. "I need to go." Alex tried to get out of the bed but Piper held her down.

"Don't be ridiculous Al, you've just woken up and are clearly not thinking straight."

"No, Piper. I-"

Piper cut her off and forced her to make eye contact "Alex, listen to me." her voice had taken to a stern tone "You need to relax, it was a nightmare. You're safe here."

The two maintained eye contact until Piper felt Alex's body relax and her breathing calmed down. The two stayed silent for a moment, wary of the short-lived peace.

"I'm sorry, Pipes" Alex whispered so quietly that Piper almost didn't hear her. _Almost_.

"It's ok, Alex. I know that you've been through a lot these past five days."

"Thanks, wait... five days?"

Piper pointed to the alarm on the bedside table "It's two in the morning so technically it's the fourth day" Alex turned to look at the clock face and sure enough, a red _02:07_ was shown. Alex laid her head back on the bed and apologised to Piper again. The blonde wasn't going to have any of it so she just hushed her and said it was completely understandable.

After about ten minutes Piper realised that she was still holding Alex. The brunette had already started to close her eyes and Piper felt something she hadn't in a long time. The feeling of being contempt. When Piper was holding her she only realised how worried she had been for Alex but by holding her she eased some of that dread. Piper was confused about what she was feeling. She had only met this woman four days ago. The last time she was feeling this way she had let down most of her walls, Piper was determined not to get hurt by someone else again. So, against her wishes, she let go of Alex and pulled up the brunette's blankets, brushing a strand of dark hair away from her beautiful face.

Piper went to bed feeling like there was a rock sitting in the bottom of her stomach.

* * *

A/N Yes, this is part 1 of 2 of the fifth chapter. This is only because I didn't have enough time to finish it and I really wanted to post something for all you lovely people. Please review, I really appreciate it! I hope that you have an amazing week! -boundless


	6. 5B I'll Help You If You Help Me: Part 2

A/N Hey! here is part two, I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review if you did or didn't, your reviews really help me to continue this story so to everyone that has reviewed so far, thank you, I read all of them and they mean a lot to me :) I am probably going to start posting every two weeks because school starts in a week for me. A song that I recommend for this chapter is 7 by Catfish and the Bottlemen -boundless

* * *

Chapter 5 Part 2

 _After about ten minutes, Piper realised that she was still holding Alex. The brunette had already started to close her eyes and Piper felt something she hadn't in a long time. The feeling of being contempt. When Piper was holding her she only realised how worried she had been for Alex but by holding her she eased some of that dread. Piper was confused about what she was feeling. She had only met this woman four days ago. The last time she was feeling this way she had let down most of her walls, Piper was determined not to get hurt by someone else again. So, against her wishes, she let go of Alex and pulled up the brunette's blankets, brushing a strand of dark hair away from her beautiful face._

 _Piper went to bed feeling like there was a rock sitting in the bottom of her stomach._

 **Alex's POV**

When Piper left her bedroom, Alex felt the air change. It was like she felt safe with Piper around. Which was crazy, right? The last time Alex can remember feeling completely safe was 7 years ago when she was 19 years old, right before she joined the drug cartel. She joined the cartel at that age because she couldn't afford to go to college and wanted a job that gave her a thrill and provided her with enough money to make sure that she and her mother would never go hungry again. The side effects of joining a cartel included paranoia, a risk of being sent to prison, and sometimes death. Alex would have done anything to keep Diane from working her life away.

Alex spent the rest of the night mulling over all of her old decisions.

* * *

In the morning after breakfast, Alex decided to go for a small walk to help regain her strength. Piper insisted for her to rest but eventually caved and gave her a stick to lean on as she walked. Piper was busy working in her office/reading room so Alex was left by herself.

Alex hobbled out the back door towards the backyard. She stopped by the flowers that were planted and admire them. There were violets under a small apple tree, roses on a trellis next to the house, some small shrubs of azaleas, and one lonesome dandelion in the middle of it all. Alex wondered why the weed was there between all of the beautiful plants and went to pull it out, as the weed left the ground it left a bare hole and the dandelion had long, thick roots. She wondered how much the weed had affected the flowers. She looked at the spot where it once was and noticed the baren soil it left behind, one day it would need to be replaced by a flower so that the hole would be covered up.

Alex left the garden and shuffled to the shed that was at the end of the lawn. She managed to get there fine but was in need of a rest so she went into the shed and sat down on an old wooden chair. The shed was small. It's wooden panels looked about five years old and the chair was well loved. As Alex looked around she noticed some old photos and a worn book on the bench, she got up to look through the items. Picking up one of the photos, Alex saw that it was of Piper and a soft looking man about the same age. They were standing outside of the house with huge smiles on their faces and Piper was leaning in to kiss the man's cheek, she assumed that he must be Piper's boyfriend. He was the same height as her, of medium build, and he had short, dark curly hair with brown eyes. He looked like a total mama's boy, definitely not someone who Alex thought would be Piper's type. She flipped the photo around and noticed that it had been taken four years ago, presumably when they had bought the house.

Alex then looked at the worn book on the table. It intrigued her. Its spine was worn with love and the pages inside seemed to be filled completely at the first half yet empty in the second half. She picked up the book and turned to the first page.

' _Property of Piper. E. Chapman '_

The brunette thought that the book must have been a diary and looked out of the shed to see if Piper was nearby before she continued reading. Seeing that she was alone, Alex turned the page and read the first line.

 _'I'm really sorry Polly, but I had to do it'_

Why was this addressed to Polly if it was a diary? Alex needed an answer, so she kept on reading.

 _'I know that you have been the best friend you could have been and I am thankful for that, but sometimes that's not enough. Don't get upset, it wasn't your fault, I had to do it, I didn't have a choice. I love you and will look out for you in any way I can. Thank you for sticking through this with me.  
_ _To Larry, I love you. I will always love you. Thank-you for being the best partner a girl could have. I know that you left me because I was being distant and I'm sorry about that, but I can honestly say that I loved you, and you deserve someone better than me.  
_ _Mum, Dad, Cal, and Danny. Thank you for being there for me as I grew up, I'm sorry that our time together ended so shortly but I really did love all of you and thank you for giving me an amazing childhood.  
Lastly, to grandma, thank you for being a second mother to me. I love you and I will miss you._

 _To all of you, please don't blame yourselves, this was all on me, there is nothing you could have done to stop me._

 _Love for eternity,_

 _Piper Elizabeth Chapman'_

Alex read the page over and over but was still very confused, why was Piper saying goodbye to all of these people? She assumed that Larry must have been the man in the photograph, so why was she saying goodbye to him if they used to live together? Alex read through the rest of the book and all of the pages contained another letter, only the further she went through the book, the less sincere they got until the last one was a simple ' _Fuck You'._ Alex went back and forth, trying to find out what they were until it hit her. They weren't letters. They were suicide notes.

Alex had come to this realisation when she heard footsteps coming towards the shed. She quickly returned the book to where she found it and picked up the photo to look less suspicious. The door opened and the blonde came in. "Oh, hey Al. I was just wondering where you were."

Alex shrugged "I needed a rest and got distracted".

"Ok then" Piper looked around and saw that Alex was still holding the picture "That was first taken when I moved here, I was 19".

"19? How could you afford to move here?"

Piper looked a little embarrassed "My parents paid for most of it, but I also had Larry move in with me"

"Who's he?" Alex was curious about what she was learning about Piper's life.

"He is my ex-boyfriend" She sounded deflated and hurt as she said that.

Alex wanted to change the subject, she felt like she had crossed a line. She did, however, want to push Piper a bit about the book. "What's that book over there?"

Piper looked at the book and a flash of pain passed across her face, confirming Alex's suspicions "Ah, um, that would be a book... about... the finances for the house?"

"You don't sound so sure, Pipe-"

"No, I'm very sure" Piper then snatched the book and held it firmly in her hand. "Anyways, I came here to tell you that lunch is ready". Piper then helped Alex out of the shed, and into the house.

* * *

All through lunch, Alex felt like she was walking on glass, she had definitely pushed Piper too far. So Alex Vause did what she did best. Kept her mouth shut. For the entirety of lunch, Alex had not said a word except for the occasional 'thank you' and 'yes please'. Although, as easy as it was to say nothing, Alex didn't want the blonde to be mad at her, she didn't know if it was the coldness coming off of Piper's body or that Alex missed the light-hearted chatter whenever they were together, but Alex knew that she had to make things right.

After lunch, Alex sat in the lounge while Piper re-did her bandages, this was the best time for her to apologise. "Hey, Pipes"

Piper looked up from Alex's side "Yeah, Alex?"

"I'm sorry for earlier, I didn't know it was a touchy subject" Alex tried to sound as sincere as possible but when she looked at Piper she saw that she was laughing. "What? I'm serious, I really am sorry" Alex was trying to stay calm but the blonde just laughed even harder "What is it? is there something on my face? Why are you laughing?" Alex was concerned that she had done something wrong so she waited for the blonde to calm down.

"Alex!" Piper regained her breath "I wasn't mad at you, I was just brooding over my stupid ex-boyfriend"

Alex tried to make sense of it all "But why were you laughing?"

"You should've seen your face. Your eyes were all big and the longer I laughed the bigger they got"

Alex furrowed her eyebrows "I was genuinely concerned!" Her temper was slowly rising.

"Oh my gosh, Al. You're so cute when you're mad." Piper smiled, shook her head, and then continued to fix Alex's bandages.

Cute? Alex had never been described as 'cute' before and took advantage of the light mood. "How dare you call me cute, Miss Chapman" Alex was now in a more playful mood.

"Oh really, and what are you going to do about it?" Piper sat on the couch, accepting the challenge.

Alex leaned into her face, so close that she could see the small freckles on the blonde's nose "Take it back"

"No, it's true"

"Well then, you asked for it"

Before Piper could even react, Alex began to tickle her. Piper was squirming on the couch laughing, try to swat Alex's hands away but Alex just pulled her closer, the brunette loved the sound of Piper's laugh.

When they had calmed down, Piper was leaning on Alex's side with her head on the brunette's shoulder. They sat there together in their own little bubble. Alex could smell the flowery scent of Piper's hair and felt her chest turn into butterflies, she had never felt this before and assumed it was the pain medications, but the longer they sat there, the happier Alex felt. The brunette was about to lay her head on top of Piper's when the blonde turned to look at her. Piper's face wore a curious smile and she looked right into Alex's eyes, "Who are you, Alex Vause?"

Alex chuckled "I could ask you the same thing, Piper Chapman".

They looked into each other's eyes, blue staring into green, and forgot the world around them.

* * *

A/N End of the second part of chapter 5, I kinda wanted to continue this chapter but I thought that it might actually be best to end it here or it would've gone stale. Thank you so much for reading, please leave a review, I read all of them and I love hearing your feedback! If you want updates on what other stories I am writing at the moment or you want to give me any suggestions or ideas to help me with new stories or this one, go check out my Tumblr: boundless23  
I haven't posted anything just yet but I will soon. Anyways, thank you for reading and I'll either see you when I post the next update or sooner! -boundless

P.S yes I do realise I just gave a shoutout to myself but these lovely people deserve a shoutout too:  
 **MsViolet85** and **Double99** , thank you for the reviews! Also, the **Guests** that write reviews, I know that some of you read every post and thank you some much for that!


	7. 6 These Scars Keep Getting Deeper

A/N Hey guys and gals, here is the sixth chapter, I hope you like it and please review (remember, no reviews = no story) :), recommended song for this chapter: Too Far Gone by Sir Sly -boundless

* * *

 **WARNING** this chapter contains graphic content and self-harm, please don't read if it might upset you or if you really don't like that stuff

Chapter 6

 _"Who are you, Alex Vause?"_

 _Alex chuckled "I could ask you the same thing, Piper Chapman"._

 _They looked into each other's eyes, blue staring into green, and forgot the world around them._

* * *

 **Piper's POV**

Piper set to making dinner and was still thinking about how Alex's side felt. She had been leaning against it after the brunette had stopped tickling her and was more relaxed than she had been in a long time. Alex's arm was warm and soft, and her shoulder was nice to lean her head on. Then, when she looked up at Alex, they had made eye contact, Piper couldn't help but wonder who the woman was.

She took the pot of spaghetti off of the stove and set it on the island in the kitchen, she then poured it into the two bowls in front of her and added the alfredo sauce and courgette to the meal. Piper brought the two bowls to the dining table and set one in front of Alex. After earlier, they seemed to be more comfortable around each other.

"Thanks for the dinner, Pipes." Alex looked at her from across the table and Piper felt her chest flutter.

"No problem" Piper smiled back at Alex and continued with her meal. The rest of the dinner was filled with mild banter and comfortable silence.

When Piper went to wash up, Alex stood to help as well. Piper dried and Alex washed. When Alex was busy trying to clean the pot she had used for the sauce, Piper kept stealing glances at the brunette. The water was running down her arms and there was a bubble at the end of her dark hair. As Alex worked the pot with her fingers, Piper couldn't help but wonder what else she could do with them. She started to feel a warmth in her cheeks and the pit of her stomach so she quickly tried to snap out of her trance. Piper continued to dry the dishes, trying to calm down, but Alex must have noticed. "Are you ok there Piper?"

"Yep, definitely, totally." Piper knew she couldn't lie to save her life so she hoped Alex would buy it.

"O-kay then." They did the rest of the dishes in silence.

After washing up, Alex went to have a shower and Piper decided she should finish off some Popi orders.

Popi was a company that Piper and Polly had made about 3 years ago. They sold artisanal soaps and bath products as well as a few perfumes. Originally they had made all of the products in Polly's kitchen, but because the commute for Piper was too long, they had decided to make the products in their own kitchens via FaceTime and sell them online. When the demand got too big, they opened up a store in Connecticut for Polly to manage while Piper ran the online business. Now, three years on, they had 6 stores, a place at Barneys and demand was through the roof. Unfortunately, because Piper and Polly were no longer on friendly terms, Piper had to manage most of the financials herself. Piper didn't mind, it gave her something to do.

As she was working away at the financials a little voice came to the back of her head " _You're not worth it"_ She shook it off and tried to continue with her work but it came back again, but this time instead of a voice, it was the lack of determination. Piper pushed against it, knowing that she had to finish the job but after she posted the credit she was working on, she closed down the laptop. She couldn't be bothered, " _It's not worth it,"_ She told herself " _Nothing really matters anyway"_.

Piper stood up and out of the little office and into the kitchen, she reached for one of the top shelves and brought down a little orange pill holder. She poured out some Anxiolytic and Antipsychotic pills, then washed them down with water.

Piper had had depression since she was 17. At the start, it was mild and seasonal, but as time went on the worse it got and now she was fighting against severe anxiety and major depression. She had tried everything, counsellors, group therapy, physical therapy, medication, even hypnosis, but here she was, trying not to take her own life. She never used to be suicidal, it was only when Larry left her that she had started to want to take her own life.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alex opened the bathroom door. Piper had just started to read on the sofa when she looked up at the dark-haired beauty. Her hair was wet from the shower and her clothes hung close to her body, Piper knew at this point that she had a small crush on Alex but didn't want it to get in the way of the bond they were slowly forming. This didn't help. Piper stood up to help Alex to the couch and couldn't help but notice how nice the brunette smelled as they walked the way there.

When they sat down Piper asked if maybe Alex wanted to watch a movie or play a board game, Alex replied with her usual charm: "What is this? A slumber party?"

"No, I was just asking what you wanted to do" They stared each other down. Piper wasn't offended by Alex's constant use of sarcasm and dark humour, and Alex seemed to be okay with the blonde's need to be constantly doing something.

"Alrighty then, I guess we'll play a board game. I gotta warn you though, I'm pretty good"

Piper accepted Alex's challenging undertone and selected a classic, Monopoly.

As they started to play, it was pretty even over who was winning so far, it was only in the 8th round when Alex started to slowly clean up. By the 20th round, Alex had the brown, orange, red, yellow, and blue sides of the board, she also had three train stations and the electrical works. Piper was determined not to lose but always ended up in jail. "Oh my gosh, this is the seventh time I've been in here!"

"Pipes, it's just a game" Piper knew that Alex was trying to be helpful but was frustrated over how bad she was losing. After only a few more rounds she was bankrupt and Alex was the winner.

"How are you so good at this game?" Piper wanted to know the brunette's secret.

"I'm good with money." Piper thought it would be an easy way to get to know more about Alex by continuing this conversation.

"What, are you a banker or something?"

"Ha, not exactly." Alex didn't seem to be opening up to her just yet. Piper didn't mind though, they still had about 9 days together. Wait, is she counting now? That was sad, but 9 days together isn't a very long time. Piper reminded herself not to get too attached to Alex.

Together they packed up the game and Piper helped Alex up the stairs and into the guest bedroom.

Piper went to close the door behind her when Alex said "Goodnight, Pipes"

Piper turned and smiled at the brunette "'Night, Al."

Piper closed the door behind her and walked into her own bedroom. She cleaned up the mess and put her washing into the basket, Piper then got changed into her pyjamas and went into her bathroom to clean her teeth. She looked in the mirror and recognised a younger version of herself. A happier version. She knew that this must be because of Alex, whenever she was in the room with her, her mood increased tenfold. Piper didn't even try to deny that at this point she had a crush on Alex. Piper didn't know if it was the brunette's perfect features or that she could hold a decent conversation with Piper, but something about Alex had the blonde reeling. Piper knew that feeling this way about her was dangerous, but some sliver of hope inside of her said that maybe they could at least stay as friends after this whole thing.

Piper finished cleaning her teeth and spat into the sink. The blonde walked back into her bedroom, turned off the lights, got into bed, and checked her phone. Two missed calls from her mother. As much as Piper would have liked to ignore her mother forever, she knew that she should phone her back to avoid getting completely chewed out. So the blonde reluctantly pressed the dial button and waited for the phone to connect the call. After two rings her mother picked up.

"Piper, honey, I need to talk to you"

Piper inwardly groaned "Hi mum, how are you?"

"Don't get smart at me, this is important"

"Okay, I'm sorry. What's the matter?"

She heard her mother take in a deep breath "Polly phoned and said that you two had a fight early on this week. Why would you instigate such a thing? Polly is such a nice girl, you should know better"

"Mum!" Piper was sick of hearing the woman's droning voice "It was Polly's fault!"

"Well you should blame yourself, Piper, if you had been nicer to Larry none of this would have happened"

"Wow, you haven't even asked to hear my side of the story but your first instinct is to blame me, your only daughter, because I'm never good enough am I?"

"Piper, sweet-"

"No! I don't want to hear you tell me any more bullshit excuses mum! Unless you are phoning me to apologise or check up on me, I don't want to hear from you ever again."

Piper ended the call and cried. She cried for the family she wished she had, she cried out of loneliness, and she cried because she had no one but herself. Piper wanted to go into the bathroom and end her life right there, but Alex was in the next room. Piper needed to stick around for at least 9 more days, but hopefully, if she stayed in contact with Alex after all this, she might stick around for a while longer.

She turned her head to the side and saw the book on the bedside table that Alex had asked her about earlier. She hated the book. It was filled with everything she had wanted to say but never did, it also acted as a reminder of how many times she had tried to leave her life.

Piper went to sleep dreading waking up in the morning.

* * *

Piper woke up to Alex's shouting and got out of bed, knowing that the brunette must be having another nightmare.

When she came into the bedroom she laid down next to Alex, held her and stroked her face. "Alex, you're having another nightmare, wake up" She tried to calm her down but Alex kept on shaking "Alex, Al, please wake up!" It was no use, Alex was in a deep sleep. Piper tried several more times to wake Alex up but it was to no avail. So the blonde stayed there, with a shaking brunette in her arms, and waited for Alex to wake herself up. This made Piper feel worse than she had already, she felt useless not being able to help Alex when she seemed to be in so much pain.

After what must have been twenty minutes, Alex finally stopped shaking. Piper moved so that she could see the brunette's face, her eyes were squeezed shut and there were tears flowing down her cheeks. The sight made the blonde want to cry with her. Piper brushed the tears away from Alex's face and the brunette let out a loud sob which shattered Piper's heart into millions of little pieces, Piper held Alex tighter and waited for the brunette to wake. "Pipes?" Alex's croaking voice caused Piper to look into her eyes.

"Hey, Al" Piper smiled and saw a flash of relief go through Alex's eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"You were having a nightmare so I tried to calm you down but nothing worked, so I just waited for you to wake up" Piper didn't know if she had overstepped any boundaries but wanted to make sure that the brunette was okay.

Alex looked at Piper for a moment before responding with a sad smile, "Thanks".

The two stayed quiet for a moment and Piper laid her head down on the pillow next to Alex. "Are you ok, Al? You've been having nightmares ever since you've been here."

Alex turned her head to face Piper and the blonde wished that she could see what Alex was thinking behind those eyes. "Piper, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" She wanted Alex to know that she could trust her.

"I'm sorry" This took Piper by surprise.

"What? Al, what are you talk-"

"No, Piper please listen for a moment" Piper did as she had been asked to do and waited for Alex to continue. "I am being followed, I really shouldn't be here, I could be putting us both in danger"

"So you're having nightmares about the people chasing you?" Piper felt a panic attack coming on.

"Yes"

Piper had to process this before she could say could say anything else about the topic. Alex was running away from something that could put her in danger. Who? and Why?  
She voiced these questions aloud. "Who and Why?"

She heard Alex take a deep breath before continuing. "As to who, probably a hitman. Why? because I made a very powerful person very angry"

"Alex what the fuck did you do?!" Piper was freaking out and was sure that her voice had risen an octave.

"I was doing some illegal stuff and-"

"No fucking shit Alex! Who would have thought that doing something illegal could get you into trouble?" Piper had definitely lost her head, she can't believe that she actually had feelings for this woman who obviously was a criminal. "Why are you really in this mess, Al?" Her voice had softened out of tiredness and thinking about how she felt for Alex.

"I used to import drugs, but when things got too risky I quit and probably made the head of the ring very angry"

"Wouldn't they have understood that you quit?"

Alex sighed "I may have stolen $10,000 from him"

Piper couldn't believe what she had gotten herself into. A drug importer living in her house with a Kingpin's hitman following her to end her life, she had to sort this out, fast. Piper stood up and started to pace around the room "Who knows that you're here?"

"No one that I am aware of."

Piper thought for a bit then rushed into her room to grab her laptop. She wasn't too worried about the fact that she could be killed at any moment because she had been looking after Alex, it was how worried about the brunette Piper felt that scared her. She knew that if she couldn't get these feelings under control soon, she would be in more pain than she had ever been before.

Piper grabbed the laptop and then ran back to Alex's room. The brunette was now sitting up with her glasses on and had a worried look on her face. "Piper I'm so-"

"Not now Alex, let me think" Piper put her laptop on her bed, turned off location services, and looked up maps of the area she lived in. She then wrote down in her notes the time it took to get to popular spots in Ithaca and main roads that lead to hers. After plotting down routes and possible ways to get to her house, Piper had come to a logical conclusion. "They can't find you here."

"What? Piper, these guys are trained professionals."

"No, I'm being serious. My house is about 30 minutes away from any recognisable landmark, the road is private and can't be accessed on Google Maps, and barely anyone comes to visit me anyway. You're safe here."

Piper gave Alex a few moments to think about her proposal and decided to throw in something else that might take her mind off of deciding. "I know that it's not a permanent solution but it could work in the meanwhile."

Alex shuffled around on the bed and Piper could sense the brunette's hesitation to stay, it tugged at the heartstrings of Piper's heart and questions came flooding to her mind. What if Alex left and Piper never heard from her again? What if Alex left right now? What if they found her here? What if Alex left and Piper found out that she had been killed? Piper felt a sudden wave of nausea come to her and closed her eyes, trying to regain some form of control over her body. Why did she care so much if Alex left? She thought that she had only developed a small crush on the brunette, she thinks she might have been wrong.

After what Piper thought was years, Alex finally had something to say. "How many days until the doctor says I'll have recovered?"

Piper looked at the clock, 02:17, "About eight days".

Alex thought again and Piper wished that Alex would just say " _Yes Piper, I would gladly stay here with you because I think it is what's best"_ But of course that wish didn't come true.

"I'll stay for the eight days but then I'll go."

"Al-"

"No Piper, I don't want to put you in any more danger than I already have"

The blonde felt the last bit of her hope leave her body. "Okay"

"Okay"

The air thickened as the tension rose "Goodnight Alex" Piper left the room and shut the door behind her. She stormed her way into her own bedroom, shut the door behind her and lay on her bed with a feeling of hopelessness coursing throughout her body.

Hope was like an old friend of Piper's.  
Piper had needed hope when she left her home in New York City and moved to Ithaca.  
She needed hope when she ended her relationship with Larry.  
She needed hope when she ended her working at the Popi store with Polly.  
She had needed hope when she tried to end her life.  
And now, like the rest of the people and friends in her life, hope had left Piper.

The blonde lay on her bed with no tears for she had forgotten how to feel, so she did the only thing she knew to do so that she could feel again.

Piper stood and walked into her bathroom, closing the door behind her. She took off her shirt and ran her fingers across the skin on her sides under her ribs, she then ran the tap and wet a flannel before dabbing her right side with the cloth. Once her side was clean, Piper reached for the towel on the cabinet next to the sink. She picked up the stained fabric to reveal what was underneath it, three shiny blades danced in her vision, begging her to pick them up. Piper obliged.

She held the closest blade up to her eyes and watched it reflect the light in the bathroom as she turned it around between her fingers. She knew the blade had enough power to take away her own life but did not intend to use it for this purpose. Instead, Piper took the blade to her side, right underneath the rest of the scars she had made, and pressed it against her flesh. At first, she felt nothing but when she moved the blade across her, she sharply inhaled as she felt the first line of blood trickle down her side. The water that she had put on her side before dripped into the wound and made it sting so greatly that a lonesome tear fell down Piper's face. It wasn't enough though. Piper kept slicing at her side, trying to make her thoughts run of her like the blood from the wound, but it wouldn't work. Every time she cut she saw Alex's eyes, begging her to stop.

She kept at this for a few more minutes before grabbing the towel and pressing it to her side, applying pressure to the wound and soaking up the blood. She had practice at knowing how to clean up cuts. After putting her top back on, Piper climbed back into bed. She knew she had to stay alive for eight more days until Alex left, it was for the brunette's sake, but after that time was up... Piper didn't need an answer to something she already knew. She would be dead in nine days.

* * *

A/N Hey, sorry for giving you a sad chapter after a happy chapter but don't worry! Content is still to come! Just a note from me to you, if you are depressed or suicidal PLEASE SEEK HELP! I don't know a lot of hotlines but here are a few:

New Zealand: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)  
Australia: 08 93 88 2500 or 13 11 14  
Germany: 08001810771  
Canada: 1-866-APPELLE  
USA: 911  
UK: 999

Sorry if I missed out your country, but if you need help please seek it out or talk to someone!

Anyways, on a lighter note, I will post the next chapter this time either next week or two weeks from now. What's going to happen? Will the people chasing Alex find her? Will Polly stop being such an asshole? find out next time on _Behind Closed Doors!_

Stay alive for me :) -boundless


	8. 7 Let's Open Up Some Doors

A/N Hey, here is chapter 7, sorry for chapter 6 but it had to happen, I have this all planned out (kinda) so here ya go guys and gals. A song that I recommend for this chapter is Trouble by Coldplay. I'll talk more after the chapter :) -boundless

* * *

Chapter 7

 _She knew she had to stay alive for eight more days until Alex left, it was for the brunette's sake, but after that time was up... Piper didn't need an answer to something she already knew. She would be dead in nine days._

* * *

 **Alex's POV**

Alex heard Piper close the door to the guest bedroom and she laid down on her bed in confusion. She had just told Piper that she would leave once she had finished recovering and the blonde seemed...frustrated? Alex thought that the sooner she got out of Piper's hair, the better. She didn't want to put Piper at risk of being hurt as well.

Alex was trying to convince herself that she had done the right thing but she heard the bathroom door to Piper's bathroom open and then close again. Alex wanted nothing more than to get out of bed and stop Piper from hurting herself but she just sat on her bed, wondering if it was something she had said. Alex blamed herself for most things. She couldn't help but feel that everyone she had ever cared about ended up getting hurt and it was all her fault. All she could see was Piper's tears as she remembered the last time she felt this way.

 _ **xxx**_

 _Alex walked home from work after school and was looking forward to finally spending some time with her mum. She turned the corner to their home and entered the house knowing that Diane would be waiting for her in the lounge/kitchen room on the couch. She walked inside and dumped her bag on the floor. Alex looked up and expected to see her mother coming in for a hug but instead, she was greeted with a note on the empty couch:_

Hey Al,  
There are some leftovers in the fridge. Sorry for not being here with you but I had to work a night shift tonight, I promise that in the morning we can do something together.  
Love you  
xx  
Mum

 _Alex put the note down and leant against the edge of the couch. She knew that they needed the money so she wasn't mad at Diane for staying at work late, instead of sitting on the couch she headed towards the fridge and texted John now that her night was free._

 ** _Alex:  
_** Hey, my night's free. You wanna hang out?

 _Alex opened the fridge and put the leftovers in the microwave. After the food had heated up, Alex walked back over to the couch and sat down, turning on the television as she made her way. She ate her food then cleaned up after herself. Alex checked her phone and realised that John hadn't responded to her text. It had been 45 minutes._

 _Alex, now slightly frazzled, texted John again._

 ** _Alex:  
_** Hey man, are you free or are you asleep?

 _Alex got into her pyjamas and checked her phone but, again, there was no reply. She knew this was weird. John always replied to her messages immediately and he went to sleep late so he was almost always free to hang out. Alex phoned him but it went to answer-phone so she left a message "Hey John, just seeing if you're ok. Please call me back when you get this."_

 _Now, don't get this confused as Alex being a worrier. Alex didn't have time to worry. She was always busy with her mum, job, or friends and she felt that getting stressed out over things was a waste of time. So when Alex is worried, you should be too._

 _She ran into her bedroom and put her shoes on. It had been five minutes since she had left the message and she knew that something was wrong, she was freaking out. Alex wrote a quick message to her mum and stuck it to the fridge with a magnet. Alex then rushed out of the door and into the night._

 _She jumped the fence separating their houses and climbed up the wall of John's home. Once she got to his window Alex opened it up and slipped inside. Alex knew that if John really was asleep, he wouldn't mind her going into his bedroom to check on him, she had done it many times before, so she turned on the lights in the room with no hesitation._

 _After looking around the room, Alex had come to a conclusion. John wasn't there._

 _As much as Alex wanted to run out into the night and look for him, she knew that the right thing to do was check on his parents to see if they were in the house. For all she knew, they could all be out to dinner._

 _So Alex walked down the hallway and into John's parents' bedroom, expecting for no one to be in there. Only, Alex walked into the room and saw that Mary and Joel Thomas were fast asleep. Panicking, Alex turned on the light to wake them up._

 _"Alex? What are you doing here?"_

 _Mary looked at Alex with confusion written all over her face._

 _"I can't find John, he's not answering any of my calls and he's not in his bedroom"_

 _Mary woke up Joel and Alex left the room to allow them to put on clothes other than pyjamas. Once they were out of the room, Alex followed them to John's bedroom where, after a second look, they could confirm that he was not there._

 _"John! Sweetie!" Mary started to call out for John as they looked around the rest of the house._

 _Joel checked all of the downstairs rooms and the bathrooms but he still could not find his son. "Alex, is there a party going on tonight that John might be at?"_

 _Alex thought for a second "No, sir. Not that I'm aware of, and he would have told me if he was going" Alex couldn't think of a time when John didn't tell her something. Everything was slowly making her more worried about her best friend. "I'm going to check the park out back, he used to go into the trees when he was feeling low."_

 _"Okay, Alex. We'll meet up with you in a moment, I just want to double check everything" Mary went outside with Alex and just like that, the brunette was running again._

 _Alex ran out to the back of the park. There was the entrance to the small woods in their neighbourhood where she and John would go and explore when they were bored or just wanted to be by themselves. Alex knew that if John was anywhere, he would be here._

 _She went through the branches and ran the familiar ground as she raced towards the tree that she and John would frequent._

 _As she got closer she realised something was wrong, the braches on the ground were all broken and the closer she got to the tree, the more devastated the ground was. Alex got to the large pine and saw the top of John's head around the other side of the tree._

 _"John! We've been looking all over for you!"_

 _Alex went to get her friend but when she looked at him, a bit of her happiness died inside of her. For Alex was staring back at John's cold, dead, eyes."_

 ** _xxx_**

Alex recalled the memory with tears and shudders. She didn't want Piper to face the same fate so Alex convinced herself that by leaving she was doing the best thing for the blonde.

So, Alex went to sleep and dreamt of the night she found John dead. Except when she looked into his eyes, they were Piper's.

* * *

In the morning, Alex woke up from her bad sleep to the sound of Piper getting up. There was a grunt and then the shuffling of feet across the carpet as Alex listened to Piper rising. Alex waited for around five minutes until she heard Piper's feet come to the outside of the guest bedroom door and the knocking of her knuckles on the wood of the door.

"Come in"

Piper opened the door and came over to Alex's side to help her out of the bed. "I figured since you want to be fit enough to leave soon, we should probably work on some more physical therapy"

Alex nodded in agreement, noticing the strained tone of Piper's voice when she talked about Alex leaving.

Piper helped the brunette out of bed and together they started to walk down the hallway and the stairs, if Alex had been paying more attention instead of being lost in her thoughts, she would have noticed the banister she walked into at the bottom of the stairs. So, Piper and Alex fell over, landing together on the floor. Alex was splayed over top of Piper and they were face to face. Noses only a centimetre apart.

Alex looked down into Piper's eyes and only realised now how blue they were. She had small freckles on her nose and cheeks, the structure of her face was also strong yet gentle. Alex could've looked into those eyes forever if she hadn't been interrupted.

"Alex, can you get off of me please?"

The brunette blushed and realised how much of an idiot she must have seemed like. Alex rolled off of Piper and onto the floor, sitting up as she reached the ground. "Sorry about that, Pipes"

"It's Piper, and don't worry about it. Are you hurt?"

Alex noticed Piper's reaction to the nickname and wondered why she was only being negative towards it now when she had no problem with it earlier. "I'm fine, thanks. What about you?"

"Yeah," Piper looked at Alex "I'm fine".

Alex felt chills run down her spine from the distant and cold voice Piper used. She thought that Piper might've just had a rough night and didn't think too much of it, she just hoped that it wasn't because of her.

Piper helped Alex off of the floor and to the dining table. What ensued was probably the most awkward breakfast Alex had ever endured.

After breakfast, Alex was sitting on the couch reading an old magazine she had found when Piper came into the room and sat down next to her. Alex looked up from the article she was reading ( _5 ways to get rid of that pesky belly fat!)_ and looked at Piper instead.

"Hey"

"Hey"

They maintained eye contact for a few uncomfortable seconds until Piper finally said something. "I figured that we should probably start on your physical therapy today considering you'll be _leaving_ soon".

Alex did not miss the emphasis on the word 'leaving' and decided she wanted to know why Piper was acting so scratchy today. So Alex looks into the blonde's eyes intending to ask her what was wrong but those blue irises said it all. Piper was upset about Alex leaving. The brunette tried to figure out why.

Alex thought back to the times that Piper had quietly mentioned about no one visiting her, how she knew that Piper hurt herself, the book of notes she had found in the shed. Alex realised how lonely Piper must be and felt some guilt seeping into her veins. Piper only wanted a friend. Alex wanted to stop the guilt she was feeling so she tried to convince herself that she was leaving for Piper's safety. When this didn't work she voiced her thoughts out loud.

"Piper, these people that are looking for me, they're dangerous and-"

"Alex, I understand"

"But-"

"No. I don't want to talk about this right now"

Alex sat still, not knowing what to do, so for the rest of the day an awkward atmosphere remained.

* * *

The next day had the same tense atmosphere so when Alex sat down to have lunch she prepared herself for a truly uncomfortable meal. Alex though, was surprised when Piper decided to start a conversation.

"Why did you leave the cartel?"

Alex looked up from her meal, in shock that Piper wanted to start the weighty talk. "I left because it was too dangerous to stay"

"Can you elaborate?"

"Why?"

Piper looked at her with no clear emotion on her face "Because, being in a cartel is always dangerous, why did you leave then instead of earlier?"

The brunette let out a breath before telling Piper something she had told no one before "Okay Piper, I'm going to tell you everything, but if you want me to stop at any point, let me know." She closed her eyes, preparing to tell the whole truth.

"If you were someone looking in from the cartel from the outside, you would assume that we were stronger than ever before and almost impossible to take down. From the inside, it was a different story. The king-pin, Kubra, was running all of our mules to exhaustion and I was working 20 hours a day with no breaks except for when I was asleep. Piper, Kubra was trying to make us seem stronger than what we really were because another cartel was looking at taking us down. In the end, that wasn't the reason for our downfall.  
It was the night before I left. I was in a warehouse meeting room with all of the main importers, the hitmen, and Kubra when everything really went to pieces. He was yelling at us about increasing sales when a mule came running into the room shouting about cops driving in for a bust.  
We might have gotten out alright if Kubra wasn't so tightly wound from the stress of competition. He ordered for us to shoot the police down as they entered the warehouse, I got scared and grabbed one of the suitcases of money while running behind a crate as the police crashed down the doors. I heard shots and shouting from both sides so I tried to sprint for the back door, I turned around for one last glance and saw most of the cartel dead on the ground, Kubra included. So I ran away and never looked back, knowing that they would be following me closely."

Alex looked at Piper, trying to grasp her reaction and was met with a face of confusion. "I'm sorry that I've brought you into this Pipes."

Piper didn't say anything, she just kept looking into Alex's eyes.

"Did you say you saw them get shot?"

"Yes"

Piper shook her head and laughed "Al if they're dead then they can't be coming for you!"

"Piper, you don't understand" Alex couldn't believe Piper's reaction "They are powerful even now, I have no doubt that Kubra has sent someone to kill me."

"Alex, listen to me." Piper put her hands on the side of Alex's face and pulled her closer "Kubra is dead"

Alex shook her head and repeated herself. Piper let go and must have realised that Alex wanted to change the subject so they sat in silence for a few moments.

"Thank you for telling me."

Alex looked back up and saw Piper staring back at her with her beautiful blue eyes. She felt a soft pang in her chest as she stared back at the blonde and decided to laugh away the feeling with a small chuckle. "Do you want to tell me anything now?"

Piper scrunched her nose and closed her eyes, Alex couldn't help but think about how cute she was when she did this.

"What do you want to know?"

"Who is Polly?". Alex didn't want to beat around the bush. She wanted to know what was happening in Piper's life and thought it was only fair she told her this after Alex admitted about the cartel.

"She is.. was my best friend."

"Was?"

Piper sighed "I found out that when I was in a relationship with Larry, my ex, they had been having an affair with each other".

Alex was taken aback, she knew that Polly had done something to upset Piper, but didn't realise the extent of it. She was about to add something when Piper continued talking.

"I wouldn't have even been that mad if it was only that, but it started right after Larry proposed to me."

All Alex could say was "Why?".

Piper sighed and the brunette noticed tears forming in her eyes. "We found out that I was pregnant before he proposed so he wanted to get married before the baby came. I think he must've felt that he was going to be tied down so he started the affair with Polly. He broke up with me and left for her when I miscarried."

Alex didn't realise that there was so much that had happened to the blonde in such a small amount of time. Alex got up and hugged Piper. She wanted to somehow let the blonde know that she was here for her, even if it was going to be temporary.

After a while, they both started to cry. Piper was shaking in Alex's arms and Alex had tears flowing down her face onto Piper's shoulder. They just held each other, knowing that they both needed some consoling after what they had been through. Alex couldn't help but feel safe in Piper's arms. Her small affection for the blonde was slowly growing but at the moment, she didn't feel any need to fear that thought.

When they pulled apart they both promised to be more open about what was really going on, for their own sake.

Alex wanted to be there for Piper as long as she was around.

* * *

A/N So, I'm sorry for the long wait, I'll talk briefly about soon but firstly, thank you for being patient. This chapter definitely isn't my best work but I did want to get it out as soon as I could (you can probably tell that option B won). :)

I'll make this brief but I just wanted to give you an idea of what I've got on.

I am still in High School and internals are really getting to me, but I'm also taking an advanced course outside of school. As well as that I'm in a band and we're practising for another internal. I've also been dealing with my poor mental health (a small inspiration for this story) so I haven't had a lot of time to write this story.

I just want to say thank you for sticking with me through this :)

I don't know when the next chapter will come out but it definitely will! This story is far from over so please stick around for it, I think you'll like how it ends (or you'll hate me, each to their own).

Anyways, I'll see you around and PLEASE remember to **review,** it helps me know what is working and what is not. I'm trying to make sure that you enjoy reading this!

-boundless


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